A plan. Finally.

So earlier this week I decided what I'm gonna do with my life. I want to work with special ed. I'm not sure why I didn't consider it earlier... back in 8th grade I found out for one reason or another the special ed kids in our classes were drawn to me and connected with me. Up until senior year I really enjoyed helping out where I could with the disabled students at Lathrop. In my gym class senior year I got away with not doing gym work, and playing ghost pirates instead =P Milo always made fun or me, "They just wanna be around the pretty blonde!" No. I treated them like people. Because they ARE people. Other's regarded them with an awkward attitude if not with cruelty or a strange sense of fear. I cannot stand the way some people treat the disabled... And I want to make a stand against it. I want to do SOMETHING useful with my life and this is the way I think I'll go. I know it's a hard thing to do. I understand it'll be frustrating and sad at times but I've come through enough to deal with that. I used to want to find a career in the medical field. Unfortunately I don't have the focus for the schooling and I'm glad I've realized that now. I have the intelligence to be whatever. But I'd rather do something in life that uses more heart and common sense rather than knowledge. Opinions? I'd appreciate it.

Not sure why I remember these so easily.

"I love the guy... But he's not for me."

"I want to be with him but I just can't deal with his attitude."

"If she could just wait for like... four years."

"I loved her to death but the relationship needed to end."

"I liked [her] for years, but [she] never let us date..."

"We always blamed it on timing but I think we were just scared to find out we weren't perfect for each other like we had always thought."

"Yeah I still love her, but we're going in two different directions."

"I never should have left [her]. But I had my eyes on someone else at the time."

" I will always love him. But I can't do this anymore."

"Some day, after we have mastered the winds and the waves, the tides and gravity, we will harness the energies of love. And, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire."

Justice...

I try not to wish unfortunate happenings upon other people... But there's some people that just deserve to feel pain. Some people should know what it feels like to get hurt. The kind of people that harm others. The kind of people that hurt the ones they "care" about. If nothing else they should at least understand what they've done. But to those people things will never become clear. To them nothing will ever click because to them, they will always be right. It will ALWAYS be another person fault. They are never at fault. Whatever we say. Whatever we've said goes straight in their ears, and our of their mouths as something else. And it leave us here... All we can do is accept that it is our responsibility to come to terms with what happens around us. We have to take what they force upon us and turn it into something useful. We have to make up for them. We have to keep our faith and work twice as hard. we have to.

I have to.

Why Today?

I haven't had a conversation with you in over 9 months....

I've seen you only once in the past 7 months...

Why are you making me feel so sad today??