Empowerment

You'd be inclined
To be mine for the taking
And part of this terrible mess that I'm making
But you
You're the catalyst

You'll be the vein
you'll be the pain
you'll be the scar

You'll be the road
Rolling below
The wheels of a car

And all of the thoughts on
God,
Don't know if I'm strong enough now

You'll be the vein
you'll be a pain
you'll be the catalyst

The best thing you ever did for me was help destroy me. Without turning into something nine tenths collapsed I would have never turned into something nine tenths rebuilt. Nine tenths improved. I know that is a time in my life I will always look back on in embarrassment and regret. A time where I gave you everything. My friendships were in your hands. I fought so hard to keep things stable and silent. How was that not unnerving to you? How could you think nothing was wrong? All my pathetic attempts to keep my secret. But it wasn't enough. You destroyed my reputation and my trust in you all at once. You will never know the depth of the emptiness I felt when you left me. I was alone. I was betrayed. I was scared. I was replaced... I was free. I've hated you. I've regretted you. I've missed you. My heart had been broken, my world unbalanced... and you just couldn't see how much it all was still taring me apart. No, I don't blame you alone. I hated myself for it just as much as you. I hated us. But as much as I've always wanted that us to disappear, I wouldn't be me without it. And me, right now, as I am, is the best me I've ever known. So thank you. I have little respect for you, no real emotion left for you, but I thank you. In some bizarre twisted way you've helped me. It's like burning a field so better life can grow in it's place. You were that fire. And I will never forget that.