Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Feelings?

I'm not sure when it happened but sometime within the past 5 or 6 years I've trained myself to be ashamed of having emotions. I guess part of it is after those terrible teen age years the emotional roller coaster has slowed down and is now more like an emotional mini van. So feeling strongly about things happens less often then it did before. Emotions are a natural and healthy thing for a person to experience, but for some reason I don't always feel entitled to them. I feel especially strange if I express said emotions to someone else. If I'm ever angry, sad, scared or whatever and I break down and tell someone how I feel... DISASTER!!! I feel so incredibly embarrassed and uncomfortable. It's hard for me to know how to talk to that person after they know how my brain works. I don't want to talk to them. I don't want to look them in the eye. I want nothing more than to dig a deep dark empty pit and just lay in it. People feel things, and that's okay. Just not for me.

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