Next Time

Next time I'll be tan I think... I'll be tan with green eyes and long hair. Yes... I'll keep my butt I like that. I guess the rest of me is fine... Maybe I'll be taller.

Next time I'll live in Colorado. I'll grow up there and love winter for the snow.. and love summer for the sun and length. I'll love the outdoors take lots of walks.

Next time I'll have 3 close friends. we'll ALL get along.. most of the time. They'll all be chicks too! I'll have 3 best girl friends.

Next time I'll have a perfect boy. He'll be semi-attractive. Pretty eyes of course.. He'll be smart and a little awkward =P We'll get along well... not be TOO serious about our relationship and we'll understand each other.. or.. at least try.

Next time I'll be stronger. I'll stand up for myself when I need to and I'll know how to say no. I'll look after myself and actually care what happens to me. I won't let anyone have more control over me than I have. I'll like myself. Not too much... but.. some. I'll love my friends and be supportive. I'll keep my loyalty and humor.. I kind of like those. I'll keep my social skills for the most part. Maybe I'll be less weird... next time I won't need medication to be happy. I won't do drugs... often. I won't be great in school but I won't fail things! Next time I'll know how to be happy. I'll love my family and be rational maybe. Next time will be good...

Or... Maybe I'll start being rational now...

I'll never love my family.
I'll never get good grades.
I'll always have problems with friends.
I'll always be insecure.
I'll need my meds for a while I think...
I'm not tan. my skin sucks. Duh.
My eyes are blue.
My hair doesn't grow.
I'll never get away from guy friends. I love them!
I'll meet my guy... someday. No time soon.
I'll always be a little weird.
I'll never completely quit smoking.
I'll never be a princess.