Something I've learned about myself over the past few years is when I get hurt physically, I more or less just brush it off. Emotionally, I dwell in it and fall to pieces. Once again this blog idea started whith a conversation with a freind. I told him i had really bad luck. He said, "what about people who get struck by lightning, twice.... you know the odds of that? Your lucky you havent even been struck once." And my first reaction was to say I'd rather be struck by lightning once than dumped twice by guys I really liked.
I'm a very emotional person. And I'm sick of it! Shlina wrote a blog about "tomorrow for sale." Well how about emotion for sale? I don't want to feel as much as I do. I don't want to care, hurt, love, hate... I'm sick of them all. The option is so rarely happiness! "make your own happiness emily!" "law of attracation!!" Fuck you Chase. I've tried to make myself happy. I've tried to pretend I'm happy hoping I'll trick myself into it. In my last blog I wrote how I agree you have to fight for what you want.. I still agree. The annoying thing is that the things that I truly want, the things that will actually make me happy aren't things you can fight to get.
P.S. I don't hate Chase btw. Just his law of attraction rants. Also if anyone knows how to sell emotion, please tell me how.
lol Chase is funny. I love talking to that kid. sorry em but I do agree with the making your own happiness... but i'll save it cuz I'm sure you have heard it all from chase. (even though my views aren't as extreme) I'd love for you to read my new entry, the ocean. It explains my views on emotion and how i've come to react towrads them. Emotion sucks.... but we need it. it's what makes us who we are. As you know, I am very emotional, but lately I just hold it all in instead of telling, you for instance, that I need help and a friend. Because I don't openly express that emotion, you don't know what's going on with me... you have lost touch with who I am and have become. Emotions are what help people deside if they want to be around someone or not. you should accept you pain and then learn from it.(I know, easier said than done, right) Just don't let it consume you anymore. Let go... Emily, all of that pain and stress, just let it go. distract yourself so that you can heal. "if you let your grief become anger, you'll never get rid of it". I love you. Talk to me soon!!
ReplyDelete